Peak Performers by Tiffany Uman

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How to deal with a micromanager

October 13, 2025

Thank you for joining my Peak Performers newsletter! Every Monday, I share practical tips and scripts to help more women win so you land the roles you want, thrive with confidence at work and grow faster.

If you’ve ever worked for a micromanager, you know the feeling.

Every decision questioned. Every email reviewed. Every bit of trust feels absent.

And worse, you start to doubt yourself, not because you’re not capable, but because your boss's control issues made you forget that you are.

Too many women in corporate deal with this quietly, thinking it’s just part of the job, but it’s not. It's also holding far too many of us back.
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Micromanagement isn’t a reflection of your competence. It’s a reflection of your boss's insecurity.

What makes micromanagement so damaging?

Their sense of control sabotages your growth if you're not careful. Here's how this shows up.
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→ You’re doing double work, yours and theirs.
→ You’re never sure what "done" actually means.
→ You start over-explaining and overworking to preempt their criticism.
→ And over time, you internalize their lack of trust as your own self-doubt.​
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​One of my clients faced this for over 1.5 years in her prior role. Despite doing great work, her boss made her feel like it was never good enough and he was constantly on her case. It was taking a major toll on her mental health too. In working together and through the clarity gained, she recognized her company enabled this kind of behavior. So we doubled down on landing her new role which she landed in less than 8 weeks. She recently sent me this message with how happy she is there and continues to thrive.

You may feel stuck, frustrated or stressed with a micromanager now but you don't have to feel alone.

Whether you decide to leave your role or company altogether, it's an important decision. There's also key actions you can take to improve your situation. For example, if this is a company you truly want to grow with, you can turn this around without confrontation or burnout. Here's how.

3 ways to take back your power with a micromanager

1. Preempt their control with proactive structure

Micromanagers don’t actually crave control. They want certainty. When they don’t have visibility, they spiral into control mode leading to constant check-ins, redoing work, and slowing down everything, you included.
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You can’t change their behavior overnight, but you can remove the triggers that cause it. The most effective way to do that is through proactive communication on your terms.

Instead of waiting for your boss to hover, feed them information before they ask for it.

In doing this, you've reassured them that nothing’s slipping through the cracks, shifted the dynamic from reactive to proactive, and bought yourself breathing room to actually do the work.

Remember, micromanagers interpret silence as risk. A consistent cadence of updates creates more psychological safety for them and for you.

Here's a simple template you can inspire from:

Pro tip: Make your recaps visual. If your boss loves details, use a 1-pager or dashboard.

The more predictable and consistent you are with your updates, the less they’ll feel the need to chase you for them. And when they stop chasing, you get your autonomy back.

[Check out my recent newsletter on How to handle hard conversations without fear]

2. Ask questions that shift responsibility back to them

Micromanagers don’t mean to create chaos but their lack of clarity does. They give moving targets, contradict feedback, and then question your choices.

So what's the root cause? They don’t actually know how to articulate what "good" looks like and they keep hovering instead of defining success or delegating properly.

The moment you start asking clear, outcome-based questions, you shift from being managed to managing the process.This repositioning does 2 things:
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→ It forces your boss to define expectations before they can move the goal posts later.
→ It shows you’re strategic and proactive, not someone who waits for direction.

When your micromanager keeps changing direction or gives endless feedback loops, narrow their options.
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I call this the A/B strategy where you guide your boss into choosing between 2 clearly defined paths.

Instead of asking open-ended questions like "What do you think?", try:

This technique works so well as it reframes you as decisive and in control of the work, prevents your boss from spiralling into over-analysis, and it satisfies their need to choose, while you stay in the driver’s seat.

Over time, they start realizing they don’t need to weigh in on every step because you’re already thinking ahead and giving structured choices.

Beyond this, here's a few of my other favorite question formats depending on your exact situation.

When the goal keeps shifting:

When feedback conflicts with an earlier direction:

When your micromanager is too vague:

3. Document decisions to protect your credibility

When you work for a micromanager, the goal posts can move quickly. What was approved on Monday can suddenly be "not what I asked for" or "I don’t recall saying that" by Thursday. Frustrating, right?

That’s why you need to document your interactions, or what I like to call, your paper trail. Not in a defensive, "I’ll CC everyone" kind of way, but in a professional and confidence-protecting way.
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One of my former micromanagers had a habit of contradicting themselves to appease senior leaders and every time, I was the one caught in the middle.

That’s when I learned the power of documentation. It became my safety net and served as a clear, factual record that couldn’t be denied, dismissed, or rewritten later.

The key is to sound collaborative, not cautious. You don't want it to come off as "I don’t trust you" vibes, but rather "I care about alignment and results, which I know are important to you too."

Now, if your micromanager publicly changes direction or denies prior approval, don’t react emotionally. Instead, calmly follow-up in writing with:

Pro tip: Use anchor emails at key moments

For example, in high-stakes projects or recurring micromanagement patterns, use quick written summaries after major decisions, reviews, or 1:1s and structure them like this:

→ Agreed next steps: [list bullets]
→ Decisions made: [list key calls or approvals]
→ My actions: [what you’re owning + delivery timeline]
→ Open items: [what’s pending from your boss]
→ Ending note that you'll keep them updated as you progress

At the end of the day, it's up to you to decide if this is an environment that will bring out your best self. And these strategies will get you far closer to deciding if it's worth staying or leaving.

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, shifts like restructures or leadership changes stifle your growth potential. This was the case for my client who I helped transition away from her micromanager and step into a new role that was a much better fit for her values and goals.

Whatever you decide, I'm here to help.

And if you need more support on this, schedule your free 1:1 call where we'll identify where you're stuck, your biggest growth gaps, and map out the exact levers you need to fix this, fast.

You've got this!

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This week’s mission: Use these 3 steps to reclaim your confidence and control under a micromanager.

• Build proactive structure. Take the lead on communication before your boss does. Send 1 short update on a key project, even just a few bullet points on what’s done, what’s next, and where you might need input. ​
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• Ask A/B styled questions. In your next meeting or check-in, practice flipping the dynamic. For example, "To confirm, is the main goal [X] or [Y] for this deliverable?".
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• Protect your credibility in writing. After a key decision is made, send a short follow-up note summarizing what was agreed upon. For example, "Following our conversation today, I’ll proceed with [X] by Friday."

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