Peak Performers by Tiffany Uman

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What avoiding hard conversations really costs you

March 23, 2026

Thank you for joining my Peak Performers newsletter! Every Monday, I share practical tips and scripts to help more women win so you land the roles you want, thrive with confidence at work and grow faster.

It’s 7:00 AM on a Monday morning, and you’re already exhausted.

You haven't even started your work week, but you’ve spent the weekend consumed by how to handle the hard conversation you've been avoiding. You’re rehearsing exactly how you’ll tell your colleague their delay is jeopardizing the launch, or how you’ll finally tell your boss you’re drowning.

But when your workday starts, you’ll likely talk yourself out of it, say "It’s fine," and just keep going.

I know that cycle because I lived it at L’Oréal.

I remember sitting in a high-stakes brand meeting where a senior stakeholder was steamrolling a project I had spent months leading. I knew his direction was flawed. I knew it would waste budget. But in that moment, I prioritized harmony over the hard conversation. I didn't want to come off as difficult.

I spent the next 4 weeks working overtime to fix the mess I could have prevented with a 3-minute conversation. My teammates were also burnt out, my stress was at an all-time high, and worst of all, that stakeholder didn't respect me more for my flexibility. He respected me less for not holding the line.

I continue to see so many smart, capable women fall into this same trap. We’ve been socialized to believe that being easy to manage is our greatest asset. But when it comes to faster career growth and leadership, your ability to handle hard conversations is key in proving you’re ready for the next level.

Avoiding the talk doesn't make the problem go away. It just moves the problem into your weekends, sleep, and confidence. Navigating a conversation imperfectly is always better than avoiding it entirely.

This is an area we supported one of our clients on recently to provide constructive feedback on a situation she had been nervous about for weeks. She did it anyways and it went better than she could have expected. This was a huge win for her as she would have put off these conversations entirely in the past.

Here's how to shift from dreading the conflict to owning the dialogue.

3 ways to handle hard conversations

1. Lead with empathy

Hard conversations often feel adversarial, but they don’t have to be.

Leading with empathy shifts the dynamic from confrontation to collaboration. When you acknowledge the other person’s perspective or feelings, it builds trust and disarms defensiveness.

It's not about agreeing with everything they say or diminishing your own arguments. Rather, it’s about creating a dialogue where both sides feel respected and heard. This way, you can find common ground to move forward together.

→ When giving constructive feedback:

​This is exactly what our client did with her team for a hard conversation she was initially hesitant about. In leading with empathy, it helped her employee to be much more receptive to the feedback shared. Since that conversation, she's already noticed clear improvements in her employee's behaviour.

→ When addressing a team member’s missed deadline:

→ When raising concerns with a colleague:

→ When advocating for yourself with a manager:

2. Be direct, not abrasive

While empathy sets the tone, being direct ensures your message is understood without confusion or misinterpretation. Don't feel the need to sugarcoat your points, as this runs the risk of leaving your message unclear or diluted.

The key is to balance honesty with respect by addressing the issue head-on without attacking the person.

People appreciate clarity, especially in high-pressure moments, and it demonstrates that you respect their time and role enough to communicate effectively. Remember, directness doesn’t mean being harsh. It means being clear, concise, and focused on the issue, not the individual.

→ When addressing underperformance:

→ When dealing with disruptive behaviour in meetings:

→ When addressing missed expectations with a colleague:

[Check out my free LinkedIn Learning nano-course on Nano Tips for Handling Difficult Work Situations]

3. Nail the "what's in it for them?"

A hard conversation isn’t just about addressing your concerns. You also need to frame the discussion in a way that highlights how resolving the issue benefits the other person.

Shifting the focus to "what’s in it for them" transforms a potentially defensive interaction into a shared opportunity. It shows that you’re invested in a positive outcome for both sides.

→ When giving feedback to a team member:

→ When addressing a peer on a different team about collaboration issues:

→ When discussing workload with a manager:

→ When proposing a process change:

This is the strategy I coached one of our clients on recently when she was facing a delicate situation with her boss's boss. It helped her transform a tense conversation into a thought partner discussion.

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This week’s mission: Use these 3 strategies to better handle hard conversations.

• Reflect and prepare. Identify 1 upcoming hard conversation you’ve been avoiding. Write down the key points you want to address and the outcome you’re aiming for. Practice your opening statement, ensuring it starts with empathy and sets a positive tone.
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• Put it into practice. Schedule a time to have the conversation in a private 1:1 setting. During the discussion, prioritize being direct but respectful. Use 1 of the communication templates shared above to guide your approach so it feels natural for you.
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• Evaluate and improve. After the conversation, take 5 minutes to note down what went well and what you could improve for the next time.

You've got this!

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